Sunday, May 15, 2011

Following Which Voice

Do you hear voices!? I do... I think its because I talk to myself constantly...heeheehee! But seriously, in today's world with so many different distractions, options, opinions, socially driven standards... how do you know you are moving in the right direction! Sometimes I say it's a feeling you get when you know you have made the right choice or a gut check when you realize you haven't. But often times I feel like I flounder out there making judgement calls that I have no right judging on!! I often say to my friend Julie that being a 'grown up' stinks and it is hard! Who knew!?!?! And if I knew it was this hard, I would have so cherished my 'kid' years way more!!!

Today in church a sermon was given on following your calling and listening to the voice of God in your life. It was thought provoking and really made me think about what direction I am moving in as a wife, mother, daughter, and most of all as a individual! Do I listen to God, do I follow his lead...? Or do I listen to my own wants and needs, claiming they are his!? That is hard to say... and that is why sometimes I wonder if the voices I hear or the thoughts I have are mine or his? How do you know? How will you ever truly know if the path you choose is God's path or your own selfish path of least resistance??

All I can say is that I pray with every decision I make, I ask for Grace with every step I take and I ask for forgiveness when I find that the path I went down really wasn't a path at all, it was a short cut to something I thought was worthwhile and in the end wasn't worthwhile at all.

What is my calling... that is the million dollar question! Do people just have one calling or can they have multiple callings? I know I have a calling to love... to love my family, to love myself (which I never knew would be so hard at times), to love my friends, and to love my God! I still use the phrase "when I grow up..." because I feel like I still have room to grow and room to do better! So, with that said,  until I "grow up" and find that I know it all... I will just consider my calling a continuous conversation with God, not a one time voice mail! And even tho sometimes I get lost and frustrated in that constant push/pull of voices, I am proud knowing that I have choices and that even if I do change my mind a hundred times, go down a hundred different paths, at least I am not alone in this journey!

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