Friday, September 14, 2012

What If?

I have a little man who loves to chat and his favorite thing to do while rambling is to ask never ending 'what if' questions. He will fire questions at you for as long as you will answer them and even when you think you have given him the mother of all answers, that is surely going to put an end to his cross examination, he fires another 'what if' that makes your previous answer sound ridiculous!
Even tho his questions are more of the random, make no sense pondering, that just comes with a 5 year old's brain, for example... "what if a dinosaur came into my room and ate my pillow? or what if we all had hands coming out of our ears?' I can't help but see his little wheels turning and feel his mind wandering in all directions when he asks all his 'what if's'. It is such an innocent wonder, harmless really. But part of me aches a bit because I know all too fast that precious innocence and harmless questioning will fade and it will turn into what we adults do all too often... worry, question, over think, analyze rather than openly wonder and think crazy, hair-brained ideas just for the fun of it.
Although I am doing, right now in this blog, what I fear for my boys... over thinking, analyzing something that doesn't need to me needled over. I mean really, he is just rambling off the wall questions, enjoy it Abbey... stop going into something deeper than it really is!!! But I digress, and I can't stop! I want our boy's hearts and minds to be filled with as much peace for as long as possible. The world we live in takes over too fast as is. We all grow up and have to face things (some good, some bad) all too quick! And if I can somehow mold the crazy 'what if' questions into a more healthy exploration of the world that surrounds our boys, rather than a skeptical worry or inefficient wonder that always leaves them looking back rather than gazing forward... I will sleep better at night! 
As an adult, I am so guilty of wondering 'what if'... what if I had gone here instead of there, what if I had talked to this person rather than that person, what if I had turned right instead of left... what if, what if! In the life given to us, the life that is already mapped out before us, 'what if' questions can overwhelm and leave us all lacking in the precious gift that was given to us. It does no good to take the joy out of the here and now to give way to what was and what could have been!
We all look to the world around us for signs, for help, for anything to keep us motivated and assured that we are moving in the direction we are supposed to. I think the key is to do that but do it with an open heart, non-judgmental mind and a heart that brings with it peace to accept what may come in or out of our life. Sounds easy enough... right?! Well, I will admit for me, it isn't... but I want better for our boys. I promise to cultivate their God given path. I will give my all so that they can learn to own their destiny, embrace their mind's eye in a reverent way. 'What if' away, my boy.... but don't forget to live the life that is right in front of you!!!

"Life at its fullest is this sensitive, detonating sphere, and it can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried and reverential... a bubble held in awe"
-One Thousand Gifts

Always - Abbey

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