Thursday, July 31, 2014

Girls of Grace

There are so many things and words to describe a girl. Some more flattering than others. I won't go into listing them but let me tell you, for myself there is one and one word only that I want used to describe me. Grace.
For so long I yearned to be thought of as so many things, popular, athletic, pretty, worthy, funny... the list could go on, but I didn't latch onto the word Grace until I was about 30. Women can be so fickle and I was no different. Girls are very impressionable and I followed suit. Ladies judge whats on the outside more than what is truly on the inside and I judged hard. I always joke that God blessed me with boys for a reason, and that reason being I was not an 'easy' girl to raise. My family adoringly jokingly nicknamed me 'crabby Abbey' for a reason! I cried continually as a baby. I talked incessantly as a toddler. I rolled more than my fair share of eyes as a teenager... and don't even get me started on early adulthood! I know that God really bestowed Mercy and a dab of Grace on me by not making me a Mom to girls. And for that I am thankful.... Not that I wouldn't have loved a girl if one had been blessed to us, but I know that I would have struggled all over again with my own girlish troubles having to raise one myself.
I listen too easily to the whispers around me and carry those words heavy on my shoulders, especially when they are words whispered in judgment. Girls are whispering queens! How is it that we know from a young age to exclude, size up, and push each other's buttons? Instinct? Following examples? Survival techniques? Mimicking socially accepted behaviors? Probably a combination of all of the above...
Growing up I wished at times to have the super powers of that girl in the TV show 'Out of This World." She could stop time with the touch of her two fingers. When she did it, it would freeze everyone around her and she could get herself out of sticky situations! She used her fingers to freeze time and had endless chances to undo hurts or misunderstandings amongst friends before things got crazy! Man, what I would have done with that power!! I would have burned my pointer fingers out trying to stop all the whispers floating around me growing up! Now, just to clarify {cause I can hear my mother in my head whispering 'don't make it worse than it is Abbey'} not all of the girls I have met in my life have been 'pause time with my fingers' whisper worthy. There have been many that have bestowed Grace on me. Who taught me that some whispers are just words said while laughing so much you are out of breathe. Those girls are who opened my eyes to the importance of giving Grace and accepting it. They were leaders, girls ahead of their time that showed me how to not get lost in the shuffle. Because just as I go on about how difficult it can be to grow up a girl, it can also be a wonderful and empowering gift. I know whole-heartedly that if I hadn't gone thru the difficult times sifting through the harsh whispering with some girls, I'd have never learned to open up to the fun, laugh until you can't talk whispering times!!!
When we as girls open up to the description and use of the word Grace for ourselves, and more importantly for others, we have the chance to change the horizon that dawns each day for all the little girls out there. We can be leaders of a new type of girlhood, one that doesn't rest in hateful whispers but lifts us up through stregnth and compassion ! With time we could amplify the inner confidence in us all as women if we'd just allow acceptance to be our balance and scale. I have seen it happen in just a short time recently. Women supporting one another. Not competing. Not working against each other, working alongside each other. It brings tears to my eyes how easily it can happen if we just give Grace.
I am sure I will have more to write on this later, but for now I just had to open up and get rid of the whispers in my head. Because once you release the bad, it's all good from there!!!

May Grace be given and Grace received. And my you all be Girls of Grace....

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