Friday, March 22, 2013

#Mommaprobs {take 2}

So today... today I cried. I just couldn't help it. Chalk it up to lack of sleep, being overwhelmed, or the ever present womanly time of the month. Whatever it was, or all of the above... I sobbed. To be honest, I don't have anything really earth shattering to be sad about or worry over or even be depressed about. I went to an amazing concert last night with my love and wonderful friends, knowing our boys were with their Nani (who was spoiling them rotten, no doubt). Life is good... Our house is intact, our health is above par, and we have full lives that keep us busy and fulfilled. But the tears came anyway. We do have stress, who doesn't? But today I let the little things get the best of me. I haven't blogged in weeks. My workouts are scarce, but my eating is constant. Then our big boy woke up pukey at 4am. I had had a 'little' too much fun at said concert. The laundry was already taking over the left side of our house and then the poor sicko added in multiple 'puked/pooped upon' items that I won't mention. Speaking of unmentionable... the dog, whom I love dearly also wanted in on the pity party. I had to drag out her out of said puke-poopish laundry items, 3 TIMES!!!! But I'm not mentioning that....
I mean, really? How could something so cute be so gross...???? Moving on... As I yanked the pooch outta the poop pile 'o laundry, I couldn't help but cry. Because I was tired? Yes! Because I was totally grossed out? Um, yea! Because in the middle of nothing big, I started to pile on (no laundry pun intended) all the little worries and hurts, stresses and let downs, insecurities and anger... basically I created my own emotional pile of dirty laundry! I was totally sweatin' the small stuff. Hell... the small stuff was smacking me in the face and egging on the dog to jump in the poop pile! 
So after a good couple cries and pushing my way out of the laundry pile I stopped by the chocolate covered almonds (yea, hello pms) and decided to get over myself. I may not be able to control when puke hits or when life throws you an emotional sucker punch, but I do have control over me, my perspective and how I choose to deal!! Someone once told me that we are all stars of our own movies. And from that I have learned that often times I forget to take a lead role in my own feature film. I rely on my co-stars to make my movie good, worthy of praise. And that's when the sadness sets in for me. When I see that I am thinking more about what surrounds me rather than just about me. It may be because I am a care taker by nature and a giving person who truly loves to see people smile, but my spotlight in life is just important as anyone else's. Yes... I was for real when I said I was an emotional wreck today!! Thus the deep, yet over the top movie star references!!
Moving past the shame spiral of over thinking... and putting away the chocolate almonds (for the night at least)! I totally don't think my worries rank up there with half of the worldly issues some people face. And I am completely using the movie reference to draw a picture of how we all, me especially, get caught up in the little non sense stuff and loose sight of the important things. Like being healthy, having security, being your own best friend, taking time to see the goodness that surrounds you. I may not know much, but I do know this for sure... Tomorrow is a new day and it's not guaranteed. See the good and be the good while you can. For me, hopefully the puke has subsided and the poop will find it's way out of the laundry and into where it belongs!!! I am going to focus on what I can control... Me! My movie, my worth, my happiness! I will gladly take center stage and happily star along side an amazing leading man and 2 precious co-stars that have bright futures, oh... and one spotlight hogging(and dirty laundry stealing) pooch! I should be my biggest fan, I mean if I don't believe in me why would anyone else!?! I might be over the top, but together with my team of 4... I think we are Oscar worthy and totally have a shot at a People's Choice Award! Ha...
More posts to come from our Spring Break adventures, fun girlfriend times and maybe a few more #mommaprobs to share!!! BUT... I promise less poop talk and definitely no more sobbing in the laundry room!!! Nobody's got time for that kinda movie...

Always - Abbey

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