'To have a child is to forever have your heart walk around on the outside of your body'
Our big boy made is first communion last weekend, and that is exactly what it felt like... I felt like I could see my heart in this precious boy. I felt like watching his sweet smile, his eyes filled with anticipation, feeling the nervousness in his hands as he held mine, looking around at all the preparation and all the other parents that day was like seeing a full length love story on the big screen and I was privileged enough to get a VIP front row seat!
All day long I was in awe of the symbols of love, and snippets of my heart that popped into my line of sight...
Symbols that showed me, I no longer had sole possession of my heart. It now resided with this fantastic boy, who stole it the minute he was born and continues to hold it captive with every step he takes and every day he grows into a man! And the best part of all that... I am OK with that fact, the fact that my heart no longer belongs to just me!! I get the amazing chance to see this boy grow into who he was meant to be...
We celebrated, we hugged, we talked about how neat this was for him... But secretly it was the neatest for me!!! I adore this child, and not just because of this step he made in his faith... I adore him because he is ours. The mass had a scripture read that gave the analogy of a tree... a gigantic tree, where God was the trunk and we all were limbs and branches given life from this glorious tree. And as long as we, the branches, stayed connected to the trunk, we'd forever be feed and nurtured... growing stronger and stronger. What a perfect example of love, of family, and of heart!
The scripture reminded all of us about the book 'The Giving Tree' and we talked about that very thing right before we went into church, about how in taking this step our big boy was connecting himself with God forever. He was now a limb that proudly gets to be attached to God's tree trunk. Isn't that a beautiful thought? It brought it all full circle for me, how when I decided to become a mom, I was saying that I was ready to be connected to this child for the rest of my life. I would be his base, his tree trunk... giving him stability, nurturing, strength, love, even my heart if he needed it!!
By the end of the day, we were all pooped from the excitement of the day and the bussle of the weekend. But I will forever remember the love I felt, and how my heart ached with pride when I saw him receive God that day. I know I will have many, many more days that will show me again that my heart no longer resides just within me... and I look forward to each and every one!!!!
Always - Abbey
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