Thursday, October 11, 2012

Slump...

This word, slump... I can't get it out of my head. It haunts me, and my writing and this blog right now. I know why this word is there, hanging out in my head, but I can't seem to shake it. I feel it following me. Why I started this blog is evident to me in so many ways... our boys, my precious family, needing to have my words somewhere out there... some place where I could look back and see growth and our boys could see me. But lately, I don't feel it. Or rather, I am in a slump about it...? I worry, I have too much in my head that I want to get out but don't know where to put it, or even if it's worth putting any where?!? I think that happens when I loose sight of the 'why' of starting this blog. It happens when I put too much worth in the wrong hands or eyes. When I rely on the accolades (or lack there of) to determine the validity of my posts or feelings. It happens... all too often, it happens! I stop writing for me and put myself aside for others. But... as of today... today I will try to stop that and stop this DAMN SLUMP!!!
This is who I write for...
The brother's who I catch playing together (and yes they are playing). The boys who get super excited about new Halloween costumes, and playing in the front yard, and make me smile and shake my head all at the same time!!!

I write to capture what might seem insignificant but will mean the world when I am 80 years old! I write so I am reminded of who I am, and that no matter what people do or say, I am precious! It is a hard lesson to learn and an even harder lesson to teach to our boys, the lesson of loving yourself first. And I don't mean that cocky, self confidence that some put up or show off. I mean truly valuing yourself, honoring your trueness and holding tight to that truth even when no one else encourages you to do so!! I write to inspire and create change, in not only myself, but hopefully our boys when they look back and read my words. I want to be that example of fun, that reminder that life is what you make it, and the hint of love when they need it most!!! 
They are why I write...

I think it was Gandhi that said 'be the change you want to see in the world.' 
I am holding true to that!!!
Slump... BE GONE!!

Always - Abbey 





2 comments:

  1. We all get there, but don't stop! They'll cherish having these memories documented and I LOVE reading your post. You are one inspirational woman and you have done so much for me (and don't even know it). Every little comment you give me about fitness or the boys or whatever, pumps me up. You are such a special person!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joy.. you are too sweet! And the same goes for me.. all your pictures and posts are a huge source of inspiration to me!!! Love ya, sweet friend!!

      Delete