I struggle. I doubt and worry and fret and stress... I struggle. I struggle to feel good enough and yet shy away from accolades or compliments when they are given. I struggle to quiet the stream of senseless chatter in my head throughout my day.... Will I have time for this? What do you think they meant by that? Am I going to be late? Why did I add that to my day? Should I have said that? How am I going to get all of this done? I Struggle. Being alone with myself can be 9 times out of 10 gloriously peaceful, but that 10th time can overshadow all of the other 9 with the amount of over thinking and over planning that takes place. I struggle with wanting things perfect but don't know what perfect is or looks like. I struggle with wanting to do it all (perfectly) and come down harder on myself than anyone could guess when I fall short. Falling short to standards no one put on me but me. I Struggle. I worry about what others think even if they have assured me that my acceptance is a given. I struggle with being enough for myself. Even though I may shy away from praise, I yearn for it but fail to ever give it to myself. I Struggle. Fear seeps in and tells me that I am the only person that thinks this way. Yet I know that I am not alone, but being told time and time again we all have feelings of doubt does nothing to help my struggle lessen. I don't embrace the company that comes with knowing everyone feels this way. I Struggle.
7 hours ago