Friday, February 22, 2013

VDay #mommaprobs {week four}

The last week or so after our weeks of showing each other what Love is, displaying how we Love and having a throw-down VDay dinner for the record books (post to come)... I am still caught up in our family's Love for one another. But to be totally honest, I am caught up in how sustainable our Love is more than anything... because this past week tested more than our Love. It tried our patience, it pushed our limits and taunted our sense of what it is to be Thankful! Amongst some pretty scary times for friends and family members near and far, that always make me pause in prayer, our Little Man was sick too. And I don't mean lay on the couch for a day sick, like he normally is. I mean sitting at Urgent Care for 2+ hours doing blood work sick, puke sick, up and down through the night sick, multiple days of being totally not himself (5 days to be exact) sick!! I am sure anyone can relate that when things or when life isn't 'normal' every aspect of your temperament is tested. Everyone's definition of 'normal' is different, I know that, but when our routine and our 'normal' is interrupted (especially for 5 days) things just get hazy, and our life and our Love seems out of whack!! Our Love is still there, that goes without saying, but let me just say... it ain't a pretty, hand holding, joy in our eyes, sing together in harmony kinda Love. It's more of a groan as we pass each other in the kitchen during the wee hours of the morning Love. An argue thru the day but hug at night kinda Love. A shake our heads in utter exhaustion, yet smile a gritty teeth grin while we walk away for some quiet time kinda Love. You catch my drift....
 {#mommaprobs... I am Thankful Mom, really I am...but why can't we just buy everything I want, when I want it?}
{#mommaprobs... Crying uncontrollably at the mention of the Doctor, cause they swab him EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I take him there}
I read in my daily devotional this week that 'God gives us more than enough; more bread and fish than we can eat, and more Love than we dare to ask for.' This totally made me stop and think, for days think.... More Love than we 'dare' ask for?!?! Do I hesitate in my prayers? Do I hold back in wanting and accepting Love? Do our boys do that? How is that possible? Who would shy away from asking to be Loved and to give Love? As I read further some things came to light within me and my questions where answered 10 fold. We are made with the capacity to Love without ceasing, but we are also made with the same capacity to decide when and how to give that Love. God gave us all free will and the ability to make our own decisions. And we decide for ourselves every day just how sustainable and just how open our Love is going to be. When we don't lead with caring hearts and positive actions we cut off the very thing that God gave us in abundance... Love. The same goes for when our 'normal' is interrupted. If we decide to get lost in that haze, to stay in that out of whacked-ness, we decided to shy away from what is really important. We miss the fact that there is Love in hard times. There are joyous moments amongst tears and yelling... you just have to decide to embrace it, all of it. Only you can roll with difficulty and still decide to interject Love every chance you get. No one can give you the Love you desire or be the answer to your problems (or #mommaprobs) if you won't be that answer for yourself first.
{#mommaprobs... the Love of 2 boys, both different and both trying at times.. but both always AMAZING}
I continue to learn and grow within this God given gift of Love every day (even at the ripe age of 36). But the best part of it all is that I get the fabulous chance to watch our boys grow and learn every day too. I may not always be the best example of an ever accepting Love, but I try and I see them trying too. And I believe that is half the battle... the trying to Love. No matter what, even in whacked out days of sickness and hazy days of arguing there is always Love there, you just have to decide to put it there! 

Always - Abbey

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

VDay Prayers {Week Three}

How do we Love? In our house, I've noticed, there are 4 very distinct Love styles going on... 

Mine: Overly crafted, pictures, notes, and stuff everywhere, can't say it enough Love
Hubs: Quiet, sly, yet strong and constant, working hard and steadfast Love
Big Boy: Contemplative, subtle, hesitant, yet always searching deeper Love
Little Man: In your face, hold your hand, touchy feely, always giggling Love

Each of us is unique and our Love for one another follows suit. It it more than ok that our big boy prefers to hug quickly and it is totally cool that our our little man would prefer to stay hugging all day. That's who they are, that's how they were made! Even though at times they look alike or favor one parent more than the other, they are individuals through and through... and the same goes with the way they Love.

It took me a long while to realize that Love can be and should be shown in all ways, at different times and speeds. My type of affection is my own. I can't expect someone to replicate that for me or show me Love in the same way I would show Love. When it comes to Love the sky's the limit but the ground you stand on should be enough! God has told us to 'Love one another as I have loved you.' He didn't say Love one another as you think you should be Loved. Our Lord's Love is limitless and without restriction... A Love that shows compassion without any criticism. Giving Love without expecting anything in return is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself, and those you hold near and dear. 
{Image from Pinterest}
This morning I sat and gave myself some morning quiet time. I really focused on what Love has meant to our family, where it has taken us and how it continues to shape us as our days together move along. I prayed for peace within our hearts to see all of our blessings. I prayed for grace to guide our hearts toward joyful thanksgiving every day. Our boys may not show love identically or even regularly to one another... but they are surrounded by Love, no matter what! They know that who they are is embraced and encouraged every day. That's the thing with Love... it's there even when we don't know it! Our boys may forget their manners, skip over pleasantries at times, and we all may squabble more days than none... but at the end of the day each of us shows our Love uniquely and without hesitation! That is the type of Love that goes on between our four walls. 
Happy [early] Valentine's Day... Love Each Other.
Always - Abbey

Friday, February 8, 2013

VDay Thoughts {Week Two}

Here of late my thoughts have been scattered, probably because I, myself, am scattered! From Monday to Thursday I feel as tho my hours are crammed into driving from here to there, teaching littles, teaching bigs, cleaning, playing with our boys, cleaning, cooking, a tad bit of sleeping, hugging my hubs, and 100 other things that will just bore you if I list them. Our days are full. Our lives are full. Our hearts are full... But when is full too full? Can you love too much or be too happily scattered in a 100 different directions? I try to keep things simple, but let's face facts.... simple ain't my thing! I do better when I have a lot going on around me and my hand in like 5 cookie jars at once! I am learning to appreciate the slow down days... even forcing myself to take them/pencil them into the calendar more often! But the funny thing is, on those slow down days... I find myself making new lists of things I want to do or try or create or start!! Ahhggghhughh....
#sundayslowdown... calendar, tea, cookie (eaten), list... #reallyIamslowingdown

This week our family table verse is 1 Corinthians 13:13... 
And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love. 
As we read it at dinner tonight I couldn't help but think 'that's simple enough.. I can do this kinda simple.' Just because I am a scattered person by nature, someone who enjoys the nature of a busy day full of 'to do's' doesn't mean I can't be simple enough to keep Love at the fore front of my actions. Our team of 4 may be a lot of things... loud, boisterous, silly, or even temperamental at times. But I truly pray what we see when we look at one another is Love. I pray that when others look at our little team of 4 they catch a glimpse of Love.  Lately in my scatteredness, this has been my mantra:
To give Love, show Love, and live Love. 
It is a prayer sent up for me, all of my loved ones and it is one of my biggest hopes for our family. I put little hints of Love in everything I do throughout my day and everything I do for my boys. I leave them love notes in their lunch boxes. I text the hubs random 'I love you's.' I put up pictures, verses, and reminders all around the house of our Love. It helps make my day lighter, and hopefully their's too! If nothing else, it brings a smile when we need it most, I am sure of that!!! 
So whether we are struggling with homework, staying home with the stomach bug or cleaning the bathrooms all day (yes this has been my week thus far), remembering Love has been in my head the entire time!!! Even if my hair was a mess, my desk was full of 3 different projects and the laundry basket has been sitting on the coffee table since Sunday!!!! We are living Love...
How do you live Love? What is Love to you? When can you see Love in your days? Where can you add more Love??
Follow me on Instagram (abbeylewis) and my blogs for Mansfield Magazine

Always - Abbey